The Lost Authoress
by AlinaintheSky
Summary: THe search to find the authoress is on! Crossovers w/ anime, TV shows, books, and movies! very funny! plz r/r!!!


Frodo: *English accent* Hello, everybody. I am here because the authoress is bored and has decided to write a story with me. But she is not here yet. So I am free to talk to you! Also, since she is not here, I will do the disclaimer: She who hath written this story shall not owneth anything in iteth.  
  
Tasuki: *enters* Hey! Whas this all 'bout?  
  
Frodo: Why, hello!  
  
Tasuki: *cocks an eyebrow at Frodo* Hi....  
  
Not-the-recent-Skaara-but-the-old-one-from-the-first-episode-and-movie-who- looks-like-a-cute-monkey: *enters* Greetings.  
  
Frodo: Hi!  
  
Skaara: What are we doing here?  
  
Tasuki: Dun ask me. I just got here. Hey, nice dreadlocks!  
  
Skaara: Thanks.  
  
Tamahome: *enters* Hey, where am I?  
  
Tasuki: Oh great. And I thought it couldn't get any worse with happy dude over here. *gestures to Frodo who is now striding over to Tamahome*  
  
Frodo: Welcome, welcome!  
  
Tamahome: Uh....hi?  
  
Miaka: *pops out of nowhere* HI!  
  
Everyone: *falls down chibi-style*  
  
Skaara: What is this, "chibi"? I know not what it is.  
  
Tamahome: Miaka! I'm glad you're here! *starts kissing her*  
  
Miaka: Tamahome! *embarrassed* We can't do this until I summon Suzaku! *starts flirting and showing off with him* No no! We CAN'T! *flirts even more*  
  
Tamahome: Make up your mind, already!  
  
Tasuki: *pulls Miaka away* Miaka, you need someone who can handle you. Like me, for instance.  
  
Tamahome: Hey! *pulling Miaka back* That's my priestess! Get your own!  
  
Tasuki: *grabbing her arm like a yo-yo* No! YOU get yer own! That Seiryu chick likes ya!  
  
Tamahome: *lets go in disgust* Ew! Yui?!  
  
Tasuki: *takes Miaka* Ha ha! You let go!  
  
Frodo: Uh, I think I should explain why we are here. The authoress has decided that she wants to write a story with all of us in it. But she is not here right now. So we should just sit right here and wait patiently for her.  
  
Tasuki: Okay. *gets up and makes for the door*  
  
Frodo: If we DO leave, I think we should wait for more people to show up. I mean, they're bound to be more, right?  
  
-Suddenly tons of people just pop up-  
  
Tasuki: *wide-eyed* Guess you were right.  
  
Sheila: Yo. I'm Sheila. I'm bad.  
  
Tammy: *southern accent* I'm an exchaaaiinge student from Tennessaaaay.  
  
Debbie: *acts like she always does: like she's high* Porkloaf!  
  
Tammy: Uh, Debbie? Say yer name.  
  
Debbie: Right! I'm Debbie! It's spelled D-E-ebbie!  
  
Britney Britney: Like, hi! I'm pop-diva Britney Britney! And these are the Britney Britney dancers! *motions to three buff, hot guys in tight satin outfits behind her who automatically start swinging their hips*  
  
Groundskeeper Willie: *thick Scottish accent* Aye, laddies and lassies. I'm Groondskeepa Willay.  
  
Ron: Hi! I'm Ron! You should all know me, seeing as I'm so famous and all.  
  
Voice from offstage: No, you're Weasel!  
  
Ron: Nuh-uh!  
  
Voice: Yuh-huh!  
  
Ron: Nuh-uh!  
  
Voice: Yuh-huh!  
  
Ron: Nuh-uh!  
  
Voice: Yuh-huh!  
  
Ron: Nuh-uh!  
  
Voice: Don't make me come out there!  
  
Ron: *whimpers* Okay. I'm Weasel.  
  
Voice: *imitating Princess Fiona from Shrek* And where would a Weasel be without his noble Potty?!  
  
Princess Fiona: Hey! Don't make fun of me!  
  
Cameron Diaz: Yeah! Don't make fun of her!  
  
Fiona: Hey, our voices sound the same!  
  
Cameron: *marveling* Wow! Let's go to lunch! *both leave*  
  
Voice: Yeah....like I said. Here's Potty!  
  
Harry: *comes out smiling and waving* *stops abruptly* Hey! My name isn't Potty!  
  
Voce: Yes it is!  
  
Harry: Nuh-uh!  
  
Voice: Yuh-huh!  
  
Harry: Nuh-uh!  
  
Voice: Yuh-huh!  
  
Harry: Nuh-uh!  
  
Voice: Yes it is, dammit!  
  
Harry: Since when?  
  
Voice: Since Fushigi Cluegi.  
  
Harry: Oh.  
  
Alex O'Connell: Hello.  
  
Frodo: Alex, what are you doing here? You're only 8! Where are your parents?  
  
Alex: Guess they didn't make it. Yes! A mum and dad free story! Maybe this time I'll run into Imhotep. I'm ready for him now! Alex POWER! I'll give him some of this! And some of that! And some of these! And one of those! *starts punching the air and imitating Scrappy Doo*  
  
Scrappy: Hey! That's MY catchphrase! Stop using it RIGHT NOW! *watches Alex* Hey, you're pretty good. You know, kid, you gotta lotta potential. I like that. Tell ya what. You can be my apprentice. Whatta ya say?  
  
Alex: *smiles big like he's so honored* Not a chance. *punches Scrappy all the way to Timbuktu*  
  
Dark-and-dank-figure: Yo.  
  
Everyone: Who are you?  
  
Figure: Uh....Homie M?  
  
Everyone: Oh, ok.  
  
Frodo: Now, let's see here. Who is present? We have Alex, Britney Britney, the Britney Britney dancers, *they start swinging their hips* Homie M, Sheila, Tammy, Debbie-  
  
Debbie: Hi! Happy Hanukkah!  
  
Sheila: Let me take care of this. *grabs Debbie and shoves her into a stall* *flushing sound is heard* *they come out, Debbie drenched*  
  
Debbie: Like, that was fun! I wanna do it again! *sudden zipping sound is heard; Debbie's mouth is zipped closed*  
  
Everybody except for Debbie, cause her mouth is shut (finally!): Hey! Who did that?  
  
Britney, her dancers, Alex, Sheila, Danielle, Frodo, Tasuki, Tamahome, Miaka, Skaara, Potty, and Weasel: Not me.  
  
Groundskeeper Willie: I di' nau' do i'!  
  
Homie M: Don't look at me! *shifty eyes*  
  
Sheila: Well I'm glad. She's finally quiet.  
  
Tammy: Yes. As an exchaaaiinge student from Tennessaaaaay, I must agraay with her.  
  
Frodo: Anyway, let's finish roll call. Me, Tamahome, Miaka, *currently stuffing her face with gum she found in her pocket* Tasuki, Skaara, Potty, and Weasel.  
  
Weasel and Potty: Hey! Those aren't our names!  
  
Voice: Yes they are.  
  
Weasel and Potty: Yes, sir/ma'am.  
  
Frodo: Well, now that we've established that everyone is here and have a record of everyone here, we should get started.  
  
Everybody except Frodo, Tasuki, Miaka, Tamahome, and Skaara: Huh?  
  
Frodo: Oh, so sorry! I forgot that you don't know! You see, it all started when I was first talking to the readers and-  
  
Tasuki: Let's skip the biography, ok? We're going to find the authoress.  
  
Sheila: I'm down with that. Anyone got a problem with it? *intimidating stare*  
  
Everyone else: No, no!  
  
Sheila: Good. Then let's go.  
  
Frodo: Ok, everyone! Let's march!  
  
Everyone except Frodo: *leaves to find authoress*  
  
-And so, they left to find the authoress who so mysteriously disappeared.-  
  
Frodo: Yeah. And I'm hanging back for a moment to tell you all one thing. Review! *leaves* 


End file.
